A cousin in Canada e-mailed me one time, asking if I was proceeding with my intentions of applying to become a nurse in Australia or New Zealand, as he had learned from the grapevine. I told him no, because applying to become a nurse in these countries entailed raising a small fortune, which I simply am unable to do.

I added that many nurses here are becoming despondent over things like the visa retrogression in the U.S., and the virtual absence of nursing jobs locally which complicates the need for a minimum of a year's worth of nursing experience in order to apply for eligibility abroad.

I also wrote him that given my current situation, I simply can't be picky about jobs, taking whatever comes along, even those which are not related to nursing, just to make ends meet.

My cousin, ever the person with purely good intentions, e-mailed back and extolled the virtues of life here in the islands, mostly detached from the crass materialism of life in a first-world country. He is pursuing a "minimalist lifestyle", he said.

That brought a chuckle. In a first-world country, a minimalist lifestyle is an option, but in our poor, corruption and scandal - ridden islands, it is a lifestyle forced upon the great majority of the populace. It is a way of life, a philosophy even, that seems to nicely complement the Filipinos' deep religious beliefs, amongst them that suffering is one of the paths to our rewards in the afterlife, in Heaven.

Seriously, I believe that minimalists fall under two categories: Genuine minimalists, i.e. those who are minimalists from Day One; those who have always led simple, uncluttered lives; those who probably don't know that they are labelled as such. The other one is what I call the satiated minimalists, those who have been epicures to the fullest sense of the word; those who have engorged themselves on worldly pleasures of all kinds. Now, failing health and the pangs of conscience and guilt have caught up with them, and to reclaim some semblance of good health and to save their stinking souls from eternal damnation, they throttle down their previously unbridled consumption and now call themselves minimalists.

"" For those who wish to lay claim to fame, search the deepest recesses of your soul for even the slightest sign that you deserve it. "" - B. V. S.

To My Mom On Mother's Day

Dear Mom, I want to tell you that I love you, while we still both breathe the sweet breath of Life, and not when it's too late. Of what use is it if you are unable to read the words I write?

I have many memories of you, some clear; others, vague and indistinct; some pleasant, and otherwise. But I remember them all with the fondness reserved for sons reminiscing about their great and loving mothers.

We are physically apart and God knows how much I miss a mother's tender warmth. I may have been rendered somewhat indifferent and calloused by Life's trials and disappointments, but they are precisely the same things that make me want to again run to you and have my little wounds and hurts soothed by your tender love.

I'll always thank God that we, your children, are amongst the fortunate ones to have been blessed with one of the best mothers there was, there is, and there ever could be. We can only be grateful for all that you have done and sacrificed for us, but we could never be able to pay you back even if we wanted to. Your love is priceless and beyond comprehension.

Thank you, Mom, and Happy Mother's Day.

Life is a vast ocean interspersed with isles of happiness. In-between are our lonely journeys.

I'm now officially accredited by the Renal Nurses Association of the Philippines (RENAP). I checked their website and my name is included in the list of those who passed the accreditation exam given last April 24. Thank You, Lord.

When I'm at home with no professional pursuits (like right this very instant), I'm able to catch a glimpse of depression and what it does to the human spirit. Of course, this is not the first time that I've been in this territory, but it has been a good several months since I last slipped into its depths.

This state and frame of mind make me overly critical of myself. I see my life as a constant vacillation between euphoria and despair, success and failure, with prolonged stays in the latter.

The weather isn't cooperating at all. We are having rains when it should be the thick of summer. World weather has gone awry. Sunshine and blue sky and puffy white clouds have always provided me with emotional lift, but I don't think I can count on this bit of help for the next several days.

The nurse forums I go to lately don't help, either. They confirm that nurses here are an exploited lot. Health facilities here charge nurses sums of money for hospital experience, even if we volunteer our services. Can you imagine that? There's a dearth of jobs especially for nurses my age. I know I have to acquire at least a year's worth of good hospital experience, but now I'm not so sure if I'll have even the slightest chance that I'll be able to do it.

It seems all to easy to succumb to despair and depression, slide down into its familiar depths, and be wrapped in its inviting embrace. But it's something I want to avoid right now, and so I fight back. Not with medication or anything of the sort, but with stubborn spirit and blind faith. I'm reminded of a poem I wrote several years back, when I was similarly situated, in a limbo of sorts, with uncertainties as my only faithful companions. It all comes back so clearly now, line by line...

Prayer

And this I pray: That my dreams

Stay on with me, and wedded

To my stubborn hopes shall concoct

The most potent of elixirs,

To banish each and every squall

And pall of gloom,

To consign into nothingness

The murmurs of failed causes;

To spring forth pleasant surprises

For the soul, to dab a pallet

Of colors on gray days;

That may inner strength be

At my beck and call

To foil devious hopelessness and arrest

The sinister plots of melancholy,

And this I pray: That may this prayer hold.